I Haven't Fallen Off the Face of the Earth

My life has been so chaotic that I barely have time to breathe it seems. I've even let my 3 readers down by not posting anything for weeks. I have some awesome photos to show you from my bachelorette party in KC over the weekend but those will have to wait until they get downloaded from the internet. I'd really like to forget about my Klassy behavior but will remember long enough to share my questionable behavior with you soon.

This weekend P and I head to Arkansaw for the engagement party Alannah (our fellow blogger over at Sufferin Succotash) is throwing for us, to visit family, and somewhere in between try to celebrate P's birthday. Pictures to be posted in the near future for all to see and I promise to be much more behaved.

Bday In Orlando

P finally emailed over the pics from our little trip to Orlando last month. Here is a view of the adult pool and golf course at Champions Gate where we stayed. We spent about 5 minutes at the adult pool because we preferred sippin on cocktails on their lazy river much much more. We ate at Moonfish for my birthday. It was recommended by our driver so we said 'what they hey'. The scallops were excellent and so was the Ahi Tuna. We were so exhausted after spending the entire day on the lazy river that we both thought we were literally going to fall asleep waiting on our waitress to bring us our change. Oh, and a little side note here. Those sassy little suede boots I have on in the picture? $2.50! Deal! Add "Bargain Hunter" to my title.

You can't go on vacation without copping a feel at least once, right? This was outside the Ripley's Believe It or Not museum.
This photo was taken just minutes before leaving for the airport. Nick likes to wear that t-shirt over and over and over. I cannot count how many photos I have of him with that shirt on. I also have lost count of the number of photos of me with my bra strap showing. We're awesome like that. Get use to it.

How High's The Water Mama?

Have you heard that we're flooding here in the Midwest? A few photos for you of downtown Des Moines and the Des Moines River: A view of the Embassy Suites. The NCAA Track & Field Championships are going on this week. This was the hotel that the were putting the athletes up at but they've been moved. If you look real closely (go ahead and get out your magnifying glass), you can see the church that P and I are getting married at in a couple of months. Thank goodness it's up on a hill so we're thinking it's safe from the rising water. It's the building with a (green) steeple. Go figure. Good chance that this bridge will be taken over by the water by today since we're under a flash flood warning until 5 p.m. and they opened up the dam.
Here's a view of Simon Estes theater where there are usually musical acts every weekend. If the water wasn't there, you'd see a very steep slope, usually filled with people on blankets and in lawn chairs, down toward the stage.

Between the tornadoes and the flooding, I'm still waiting for one complete week of nice weather here this year.

Review

If I could ever get P. to email me the Orlando pics I would have some show and tell for you. It sure would be more interesting than this dull post. Anyway, bear with me on the lame posting for a while please.

• Friday must have been so lame that I cannot remember a thing that I did after work.

• Saturday my friend RJo came over and we did farts and craps. While farts and craps were drying, we went down to the Junction and went shopping. We plan on getting together next weekend to continue farts and craps hour but this time we'll be adding a bottle of wine since RJo recently split with her fella.

• Sunday was spent under a comforter, on the couch with bad weather looming putting me in to a crying funk (I was having some emotional issues) and watching two Lifetime television movies with Mr. Sheik. Even though I was the complete lazy arse and P worked, he came home and fixed us some No Name pecan crusted chicken. Have you tried the No Name meats? Deeeeelicious!

Everybody Clap Your Hands

Since we all had a funtastic time discussing my hoo-ha related post last time, I thought I would add a part two. Doc's nurse called to give me my results and added, "And you don't have chlamydia." Ummmm, I didn't know there was ever a thought that I did! She said, "You didn't ask us to check if you had chlamydia?" Pretttttty sure not!

Family Planning

WARNING: Content may be unsuitable for my male readership. Come back the next time when I plan to post pics of my Orlando trip.

Yesterday was my annual. P went with me because we wanted to discuss family planning with the doc. P's list of medications were discussed and it was determined that none would cause an arm to grow out of our future child's forehead. I'm regular. At least I'm regular in that department because I'm irregualr in the Wilford Brumley/oatmeal way if you know what I mean. We talked about the big O. No, not orgasm. Ovulation, silly!

Once it came time for the exam, P was in direct view of the party. I've never seen anyone become so nervous. No, I did not want him to do any viewing but for some reason the one chair in the room is directly across from the table. Doc saw his nervousness and handed him a child's book that was in the room and told him to read about the 12 Little Monkeys.

And here's where Doc says something that makes me not so keen about passing life out my body in the future..."We still have to use the child size spec* on you. You are so tiny you are going to have quite some difficulty delivering. Don't be a hero and try to go natural. You are definitely going to want to get an epidural as soon as they offer it. Take the drugs!" That nervousness that P felt while just in the room just increased ten-fold in me.

Our conversation after the appointment went as follows:

SRU: Did you hear what Doc said about how difficult it's going to be for me?!

P: You're regular. That's great!

SRU:Yea, great. But did you hear how bad it's going to hurt for me to deliver a baby?!

P: Oh honey, it's going to be a wonderful experience for you.

SRU: Me kicking you in the nards is going to also be a wonderful experience for me.

*I hate the word speculum.

Help A Sista Out

I know many of you faithful readers of my piddly blog are a wealth of music knowledge, so I come to you for help. P and I are having one of them pictures set to music thingys made. There is a section of photos all dedicated to yours truly from infancy to present day. Most people tend to set these things to something sappy. I don't want that! No, no. I want something upbeat to go with my photo montage. No suggestions of Joan Baez's Circle Game! Stay focused peeps. We're looking for upbeat here. Something that the viewing public will be able to understand the lyrics would be most helpful, too. And do I need to say this? Okay, yes probably. Something not distasteful.

I'll be here awaiting your influx of suggestions.